Friday, December 31, 2010

This Streak has Been Brought to you By the letter Yipes!

Streak Start: I fooled around and fell in One….

It’s been a rough night, far from the dreams of a future happy Grammy. Chaos ensues in these parts and members of the household were having a rather cantankerous day yesterday. Possibly because those members had surgery for this morning. There’s something to be said for the value of dust settling and quiet moments.

That’s my disclaimer for all losses today. I don’t have one for the other days but see a real opportunity to capitalize on it today!

The first game is Army vs SMU…another alchemy game with points from field goals vs winning margin. Might as well say something about the combustibility of 2 x 3nth = (pie)5. Skip to my lou and onto the next game in between phone calls from hospital, friends and family. At least I knew better that I couldn’t logically choose this one. Unless I were to go majority. Sometimes the coin flip is the passionate kiss.

Wimp that I am, I’m lucky I can change a baby diaper, should these hands ever have to step up to Grandmotherly duty (So tempted to write Doody). Passing up that pick is just silly seeing as my shots of winning anything this month are slimmer than me chasing an ostrich in a pair of heelies.

The Pinstripe Bowl looks like a a nice refuge. I take the Kansas State Wildcats over Syracuse Orange. Wildcats sound edgier than an orange. I’ve never seen an orange dive out of a bowl and hiss. Plus it seems that Syracuse may be missing some players today for various issues. I feel like a mean grandma, taking a team against one that just had a player go in for removal of a brain tumor, but it’s the streak. And I know I won’t have another 14 by tomorrow but the compassionate vote alone might not help.

I thought about choosing for Mate today while he’s in recovery, waiting for approval to leave. But his streak is currently a three and I really don’t want to be responsible for getting it drunk and letting it wander into traffic.

Not only that, but he's being a total fang filled rabid animal to me so I'll let him lose his three all on his own.

****Post Game****

Choosing compassionate would have allowed me a vision of what other numbers look like over "1". However, in between running out to find refuge in a bookstore and dealing with a mad man who thinks that his mother and I were attempting to attack him with bad posture, I had to reach into that basket of F*ck Its and allow tonight to be just that.

The day ends with a barbed wire zero.

We Got the Spazz

Streak Start: Draw a crop circle and take out anything interested. I’m left with the circle.

Day starts off too late to choose the dreaded soccer game. This was the universe purposefully keeping us in bed long enough to miss it by the proverbial hair.

My losing streak is gaining on me…a hungry 3 that threatens to unhinge the refrigerator of scoreboards and devour all that is relevant to a winning streak. Unfortunately, the Mate has his biggest losing streak ever…somewhere near a 7 or an 8. That can’t be good for the Likes To Win, Will Kill if He’s Losing, Soul.

How on earth am I going to be able to afford all those informative and frightening pregnancy books for my beautiful kids? The toughest is finding a great Father to Be book that doesn’t either unnecessarily inflate a man’s sac or make him out to be an aimless oaf.

Noticing that the 2pm game is creeping up like a pair of granny panties, I choose in a fairly flitful way. Company has just walked in to share with me a Russian version of Skating with the Stars, and let me tell you ~ it is full of passion! So I take the fancy complicated pick that I usually pass over with a look of disdain.

The game that luck would put before me is the Eagle Bank Military Bowl. East Carolina vs Maryland in college feetballs. 75.1% chooses that Maryland will have the winning margain vs EC’s points from field goals. Fine by me. Bring on the frozen Russians while I wait.

Yeah! A win! Kiss kiss kiss kiss! Mama can buy the GOOD bread this week, kids!!!

The next choice is made with a quick peek at scores all season. The Baylor Bears are home and the name rings a winning sound in my ears. Hopefully it isn’t some sorta reverb off Illinois Fighting Illini. A preview that I read states something about weakness in Illinois’ offense so with only 6 minutes, Dougie Fresh you’re on…uh uh on, I trigger finger it to the Bears.

If it’s not bad enough that the Mister is having a rotten time processing his day, I notice that Baylor is very attached, affectionate almost, with their own Zero. Meanwhile, Illinois laughs wholeheartedly, running off with 14 points as they look back on the coddled lack of points to the opposite side.

Eventually while the Mister continues his constant hammering and all dust remains in the air, I see that it’s me and Zero tonight. Actually though, if you look at that bright, spring green Zero on the home page, it’s actually kind of pretty. Festive. Comforting.

Eventually you just start finding weird and different ways to choose. So with Utah Jazz gifting the Los Angeles Clippers with their presence, I decided to go Jazz. Because I like jazz music. I like the hip hop group Tribe Called Qwest’s song “We got the Jazz”. I’m jazzed. My day is falling apart like an overboiled strip of tripe. I need to be jazzed up. Help me find a reason not to eat a whole cake and put my toothbrush on strike!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

It's a Lyger. It's Probably My Favorite Animal.

Streak start: A big Whopping bowl of Nil.

OMG, I’m waking up with my hair so dirty it has a parental advisory label on it.
I’m pretty sure that I woke up just late enough not to choose the soccer game. Instead I have to wait until 6:35pm for a game. Darn. You mean I’m going to waste two perfectly good opportunities to keep my zero?

For the Champs Sports Bowl, I’m going with the West Virginia Wolverines as they trapse down over to North Carolina. I’m choosing wolverines for the Napoleon Dynamite reference. (I was in Alaska hunting wolverines with my uncle!). And they’re home. And the minority factor at the time of choosing. And I’m running to Borders with giftcards - Whoop! That'll render me drunk with happy! Game who?

***Post Game***
I was just kidding with my West Virginia pick. Let me try again.

Enter into my life, the Insight Bowl. Missouri Tigers vs the Iowa Hawkeyes. I’ve seen the home page of ESPN before….with the one pick under the Streak for the Cash banner. I’ve never made a pick from here. I was just curious…like a puppy chasing a butterly. A very What Will Happen If I just pick it kind of thing. A self dare, if you will. Check. Hee hee…I like tigers.

***Post Game***

Have I mentioned the dive in my college bowl pick stocks? Do not let me handle your Pick Portfolio. I’ll touch the edge and it will consume itself into ash.

Another flip of the coin gone wrong. Coin has committed cash suicide down a sewage drain. Bah!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Devil Jumped outta Georgia

Streak starts: 1

I woke up and was informed by mate that my team won last night. For purposes of winning the streak, “my team” only applies as long as the box is checked with their name in it. Once the game is over and a new box with another team is check-marked, they are no longer “my team”. After all the Woe Is Me drama that I left off with last night. I guess it worked!

I worked from home today, in the aftermath of travel strander of a snowstorm. I thought this might give me slight lee-way for research but a) the first game didn’t start until 3pm, near the time that I would be stopping work and b) it is a beloved (NOT) Soccer game. With my normal self imposed rules I should have taken this one. I only had a one to lose. But my mind and soul are coming from sports depravity now….I’m gonna white-knuckle that one into a two. I will die by the sword, not some silly drunken slipped on a banana peel charade.

And besides that, after checking out both teams, ….no feeling either way…end of month so the chance of a streak against Arnie's Army is about the same as me eating roasted balloons for dinner. I shouldn’t care … like a sloppy drunk who falls and wants to be sure that her lipstick didn’t smear even though her butt was on display for everyone. There’s just no shame.

So eventually I took the Air Force college football game vs. Georgia Tech. I figured, it’s the Air Force…of course they have to win. Right? I know nothing about the military or football so you can see where this game might have gone. I checked diligently on the scoreboard but it was like watching paint dry. What a slow moving points game. I’d never want to get stuck behind this game in traffic. I’d tear my Non-Gray Granny hair out. All is forgiven though as the Air Force comes through like the manly men that I assumed they were.

I was really hoping to take the Dallas Mavericks vs the OC Thunder. This is my recurrent Texas issue. I wanted to be slightly miffed that the last game went merely three minutes beyond the cutoff of choosing my pick but I’d gotten it right. Briefly.

BECAUSE I missed the cut off for what would have won me another rung up the ladder, I ended up choosing the game that I’d have preferred to be a Streak spectator for. New Orleans, who I rather like, was the invited guest to the Atlanta Falcons par-TAY. Tough choice as I really wanted to go with the Gold. However, I also saw that Atlanta seemed to be the Wise Guru at the top of the Home Mountain. Undefeated for the entire season. Well, of course they wouldn’t put that on the line, n’est-ce pas?

Not without a teaser of a fight they wouldn’t. And not without an almost 12 year old talking incessantly through the writing of the last three paragraphs. Gotta go buy me an infusion of Gramma patience because Mamma patience seems to have a hold in the knee, dear Liza, dear Liza.

I’ll have to get my Wii golf game on target before critiquing these hard working boys in spandex.
I hope this Zero is a size 5 finger. It seems that I’ve been married to it for a good part of this month.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Snow Job

Game Day Start: 1

My first game is college basketball. The Richmond Spiders vs the Seton Hall Pirates. Ooo….I like spiders. And pirates. But the spider logo seems more chic than the Pirates and after checking in with my ESPN library, I decide to go with the visiting Spiders. Mate says in That Tone, “Really?” That tone that says, “Listen little lady, you’re clearly not taking this STREAK thing seriously. Anyone, even the dust of your grandmother in the box downstairs, would clearly not choose the Spiders.”

To be fair, he said none of that. Except the “really” part. But that’s what my secret Sports Addict Mate Decoder tells me.

Thankfully, my spidey senses were programmed in today, so I collected my 2 and moved on. But what for?

I might be sorry I did this but I chose the Raiders over the Colts. Why? Because they aren’t doing fabulous but they did beat Denver last week. I’ll wait until you Not Broncos Fans finish laughing.

I understand that it was like outrunning a 3 month old. I get that the Broncos aren’t having a stellar season. Ok..a really horrible losing streak – they have nearly as many L’s as letters in the alphabet. And as I watch the scores (because I’m certainly not watching the game – Mate has Green Bay and the Giants on right now) I see that while my pick was not a bad one, it is not going to add any weight to my streak. As my streak starves with a scarlet red banner that tells all within sight of my computer that the Raiders lost, I seek out the next game.

But wait, what’s this? The Vikings/Eagles game has been postponed! Our Nor’easter has scared away the pads, helmets , fans and picks for this game. It is indeed a late Christmas gift from the heavens. And that’s one cool thing that will be great about going to Gramma’s house someday….she has a snow climate! My darling daughter and her adorable man currently reside in the part of Arizona that sees no snow.

The last game of tonight for me is going to be gently placed, like a diamond, with Florida International vs Toledo at the Little Cesar’s Pizza Bowl in Detroit, MI. Holy cold….I hear it’s colder out there than here in NY. Brrrrr…..I’m wondering if I were to watch that game, I’d see people freezing mid punt. It’s possible that I might not be able to make a well informed and focused decision. The dog, who is not neutered, is enjoying a late dinner snack of his own sack and is snorting, whining and making choking noises as I do my research. But I have a zero so all he can do is keep me here in the loud circle of incessant licking. I was just told that our conversation across the room is too loud, but the snorting and repetitive licking right next to Sensitive Ears is apparently immune to gross, wet noises.

Only 8.2% of people are choosing Florida International Golden Panthers. I’m gonna go with that. Because I like cats. And because with most of my picks, I just don’t see why not.
At least until we get to the 2nd quarter and I take a peek and see that my team seems to think the number 7 looks hot on them while Toledo is sparkling in a 21. Ack. I should have known better since the pregame write up was nearly having a love affair with Toledo in mind.

The thrill of the underdog though. 8.2% attracts me. But you think that QUOTE “Toledo has won eight of its last 10 bowl games” UnQUOTE would be an asteroid of a clue for me to shun the 8.2 generation. Mate tells me that it’s a college game. They can still do plenty. Fine. Going to bed with a Zero. No, no, don’t feel sorry for me. I’ve learned how to spoon the rotund.

Be Merry and Streak!

Hope everyone was imbibed with the best of the best yesterday for Christmas! The best hard liquor, the best wine, the best chocolate, hot dinner, and memories.

As you might know, Streak for the Cash yesterday was a bunch of Sports Fan choices, i.e. leaving young Grammy out of the cerebral loop. My game plan was left to the die hard methods of Flip a Coin, copy the majority, copy the mate or take a look at the photos of the opposing two men (in questions such as who will score more points in the nth quarter on the moon during the 11th hour while balancing a tray of twinkies on their third eye?) and see in the first few seconds, which one appeared to look like the winner. Is he sorta edgy looking? Will a edgy face score more than a smile that a grandma can love?

My first pick of the game was at noon right before leaving the house to go a-visiting. The dilemma was the Chicago Bulls Derrick Rose vs NY Knicks Amare Stoudemire blah blah blah. That was my problem. Right there I saw Stoudemire’s name and due to consistent name dropping by TV and the mate, immediately checked it off. If I had been hanging from a cliff, I’d have checked it off as a sure bet. And immediately would have plunged to my demise. First pick of the day was incorrect.

My mother has a record breaking slow computer. We figured it would take us at least 20 minutes each to check a box. Thankfully that wasn’t the case. Another Bulls @ Knicks pick - will a 3 pt basket be made in last 2 min of 2nd quarter? In my inexperienced young grammy brain, I figured yeah, of course it will be! I might as well have been drunk by now….another wrong pick.

By this time I was safely sure that neither mate nor I (we’d chosen exactly the same for both losing picks) were going to win the special Christmas Day streak for $10K. Ok, time to work on just having a good month then. And luckily, I went with the minority school of thought for the next game.

I finally must have brushed against a 4 leaf clover field on my way out of mom’s house because I did guess (and I use that term whole heartedly) correctly that Celtics’ combo Allen & Pierce would score more 3 quarter points than Magic’s superhero duo of Howard & Nelson. I’d love to say that I was drunk because I don’t really remember thinking about that pick but I’m going to have to go with the fact that the majority chose it and that’s probably what I did. A losing streak of 2 will break you down to desperate measures.

My next pick at 6:46pm was my favorite. Who will score more points in the 2nd half of the Miami Heat vs LA Lakers game – LeBron James or Kobe Bryant? I had to go with LeBron. After all, if he’s good enough to be mentioned in the High School Musical movies, he’s good enough for my streaking habit. I’ve HEARD things about Kobe Bryant. But I went with the 35.4% minority that was LeBron James and DINGDINGDING! Thanks for the love, LeBron.

This game is like a yo-yo diet though. I ended up gorging at the 10:47pm table. Would Aldridge of the Portland Blazers score more points in the 1st quarter than M. Ellis of Golden State Warriors? I’m starting to have that forgiving type relationship with GS. They’ve helped me gain, they’ve helped me purge the evil ascension of numbers. I took them. I don’t hate them yet. Plus I like their blue and yellow circular logo….I can find them easily on everyone’s play schedules. It’s just so Fisher Price. They did cause me to purge however – even with me checking the PPG statuses. I don’t hate them just yet. I think we can still carry on a bit.

And why is that? How can I still picture GS and I still holding hands in the field dancing in a slow motion maniacal blue circle? Because I chose them again in my last pick of the night….oh wait. I lie. I shouted over to mate from the fireplace at that point as I read a book. “I’ll have what you’re having!” So really I just got tired of being cold and wouldn't leave the blazing logs. Being lazy is how I won. I really am going to order those waistband jean pajamas. The grounds for thinking that a 3 point basket would be made in the last 2 minutes of the second quarter? I think for the most part if there is ever a 3 point question, we’re always going to choose yes. I’m no expert but who isn’t going to try for a 3 pointer?

Having a streak of the most basic building blocks – One – is nice. But gets boring. Tired of eating at this diner on a daily basis. I do love the fancy dishes and hot drinks that the 13’s and 14’s offered me once. But alas, I will change that. I WILL pass THROUGH 13 and 14 to gain a bigger streak next month! You’ll see! You’ll ALL SEE!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Ho Merry Farking Ho!

Today’s lack of streaking is due to a couple of factors. Some weighing more heavily than others. You decide which one keeps the small side of the seesaw up. You won’t win anything except feed for the Ego in being Correct! Just like picks!

With the possibility of all games today, ESPN didn’t have anything to choose from until 7pm. GASP!!!! For reals y’all??? But yeah. 4 Reals.

I’d have prepped for that first pick that I could have made but I was severely sidetracked by a game of Tug of War between two cranks. My mate being one of them. The middle was marked by Who Is More Wrong In This Argument. No one usually wins this and dang it, I’m supposed to know how to put on my cape and tights and fend off such unwanted stank ass crap since Grandmas know everything. I seriously need the Grandma Know It All For Dummies because I have a serious learning curve to jump on being in the younger set.

So I wasted a lot of time today on fighting, avoidance of Mate to avoid more silly exchanges and throw in some yoga.

By the time I could choose for the 7pm game of St. Louis Billikens vs Mississippi Rebels, it was nearly 7:30. I suppose being on a separate floor of the house to avoid a tussle with Mate would be classified as this current block of Time Wasting.

At 7:55 I realized that I could be choosing a game for 8:05pm!! Another geyser of argument was starting when there was a knock on the door. The landlady. With gifts. A bucket of water thrown on that fight. On the way down the stairs I looked at the majority for Tulsa vs. Hawaii with their sick and twisted pick of 199 Passing Yards or Fewer vs More and went Majority. Click….walk down to greet landlady bearing gifts from Chinatown. Admittingly, this was a lazy and desperate pick since Copy Karma got me for taking mate’s last pick last night and being rewarded with Zero for choosing the losing side.

So here’s to a case of the Christmas Eve F*ck It’s! I’m going to have a glass of wine from 2001 and eat Santa’s cookies.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

That's right. I need some PJ!

My day starts with a lovely and seasonal shade of a Winning Green “1”!

Yeah yeah…ok…kudos to the mate who allowed me to copy off of his term paper last night.

Being new to G-ma land, I survey my new perks. Pajama jeans. Mate pointed them out on the TV to me as an item that I should be interested in. I might be needing them because even though I am about 100 lbs, on the inside I will need the big, jolly grandparent waistband that they provide. More like waist ban! Ew!

Chic? Stylish? If you’re not completely delighted send it back? All of these words are uttered in the sweet nothings of this infomercial. Can you use the word ‘Delighted’ with pajama jeans?

I am forced to stand outside in the light snow and take the google bus to Kerkyra for any sort of stats that are not listed in shapes. Boy those Greek sites really confound me! It doesn’t take much as it is but boy, this is double dipped confoundment! Finding some sort of schedule in a G-ma friendly layout takes a couple of stops on Link Road but I finally find something. A brief trip to both schedules to score compare and I get a case of the F*ck its. I’ll choose Kerkyra for the win or draw. Naturally though, whatever I am prone to choosing in a soccer game usually means I should chose the opposite. Game starts in 20 minutes and I have work to do and although I rather enjoy any sort of streak that isn’t in the negatives, I’ll put my 2 on it.

I’m going to put on NPR online and be old now.

Random note: my butt fell asleep. I’d better check on the soccer game.

It’s half time. And both teams are currently having a hot Zero Casserole. I’m ok with that. I like to draw in Soccer Standard Time. Just have to get through the last moments of the game with this draw. Soccer is crazy like that. They’ll go for 87 minutes without one goal and then suddenly at the end the tricks come out. Someone sets off dry ice and the other team can’t see so Team Dry Ice plunges in 3 goals. Or a cat is catapulted onto the field and lands in one of the goalie’s shorts and thus, 20.2 goals by the opposing team. I refuse to be fooled into a comfort zone by this current supposed draw.

We are at the 90 minute mark …. The computer housing my potential streak builder or dive went to sleep so I can’t see the score just by looking…I have to wake it up. A moment later, the truth is revealed. The cat was thrown into the pants of the Iraklis goalie. In the last 10 minutes, Kerkyra has scored a goal. Gee, what a shocker. I’m definitely not going to torture myself by watching the play by play on the internet – that’ll just cause blood pressure issues.

Going in past the 90 minute mark, an elephant with a spiked collar has run rampant toward Kerkyra and Iraklis has scored. So far so good…it’s still a draw.

You can’t trust the last moments of a soccer game. You just can’t. Sheeeee-it. I’m going downstairs to make coffee so as to avoid the emotional rollercoaster of the last minute.
I went downstairs to make coffee, put on a pot of dried beans to cook for a couple of hours, did a few dishes, some squats and checked my Facebook profile. Avoidance issues much?

Thankfully, the curtain closed on that game when it did.

Next game up of my choosing is the Washington State Cougars vs the Baylor Bears in college basketball. The in between picks were again, those that you’d have to eat sports for a living to figure out. Or at least that’s my perception. I don’t feel like taking a learning curve right now for that and have already sanded down my pride in asking mate for his pick last night. In checking the only preview read that I could find quickly, I went with the Cougars. Why? Because they have the nickname Wazzu! Rhymes with the Great Gazoo from the Flintstones. But also because the opinion that I read seems to think so and listed a few points. So ok, I won’t copy mate but I’ll let this guy sway my vote, right? As the article states, Bring on The Bears! Apparently only 5.6% of us currently think so an hour before gametime!

****Post Game****

I’m a Proud member of the 5.6% Club. Thanks for the ‘3’ guys! I’ll be sure to use it up as fast and furious as I can! I placed the last check of the night with Florida State vs the Butler Bulldogs. The Dingo is eating my baby because I am 3 points behind so far. This surely spells out that I am back in the cage with the wire monkey. Clinging with wont to that Bastard Zero that keeps slipping in with me late at night. I might as well just munch my way through this whole bag of Trader Joe’s reduced guilt French Onion multigrain chips now.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Post Titles are For Overachievers

Ahhh…the sweet smell of ascension brewing in the air. “2” and I have met before. Nice to shake that clingy, cranky, blank Zero for now. Hopefully I didn’t leave a trail of breadcrumbs behind me.

Golden State Warriors apparently wanted my affections back and chivalry won out. They won. Just for me obviously.

This morning, as my stomach growls and I run a work program, I take a quick look at the first game.

I don’t know why I think it’s magically going to be an easy NBA game everytime I check. Of course it’s soccer. It’s like morning breath. It’s present and one way or another it will go away. Sigh. Do I want to spend my 2 at the Soccer vendor? I say out loud “no way”. And then compulsively click on both teams to see. You know, just in case.

Olympiakos’ information opens nicely for me, if not a brutal red color dominating the site for an eye slap.

I may have to ignore this game. Any page that bounces off our firewall is probably a sign for me to turn around before entering the forest of hungry, heartless banshees. Asteras Tripolis is not willing to give me any info unless I want to go the extra distance of website hoop jumping and do some real research. Which I don’t.

Lazy? Nah! Just have to keep up the good work here at the job! I have teddy bears, onesies and baby’s first Winnie the Pooh books to buy for the grandchild who is currently baking. A Starbucks paycheck might not hold up as well as the one I get here.

If I still needed to create a streak, I’d take this game. But because I’ve watched my Empire of 14 crumble into a losing streak of 4, I’m going to be a teensy bit cautious. This game is a predator, trying to steal my 2 with its insistence of attention mongering. If I don’t further research it, it won’t tell me who it really is.

High maintenance pick + Job = Forget it.

Instead, I’ll enjoy the breakfast potluck here at work. Everyone is walking around with just one crumb on their lip or under their nose. I’ll join the herd. Baaaaaaaaa. (If this were a pick I’d be tempted to starve, just to be down with the Underdog!).

*****Much Later After Consuming Cookies to the Nth Power****

Things that I did instead of choosing another pick:
*Ate things that other co-workers brought in. Something by the name of Monkey Bread. I will marry it someday when it’s legal to exchange vows with a pastry. I dropped hints at the chef that I’d pay her to make more.

*Laughed a lot. This is important when playing Streak for the Cash. If you aren’t laughing a lot, you are probably messing with your chances of winning. Actually, I’ve no proof of that but laughing will get you through those cold nights when snuggling with Zero.

*Laughed then calmed down. Then burst out again. You know that type of laugh. The kind where you burst out and finally calm down….only to dwell on the replay button in your head and burst out again. It incites others to ask What the Hell is So Funny? This was caused by my darling beautiful daughter (who currently houses my GrandFetus) emailing me with today’s vile pregnancy symptoms. I will spare her dignity by not repeating but will thank her for being such a good sport and sharing anyway at least with me.

*Hosted my weekly online radio show, Scorpion Equinox while the fireplace blazed and a hot cup of coffee was had. Nice!

As soon as the show was over I had a few moments to check out the next pick….the one I’d been waiting for all days since I wasn’t going to take any of those fancy ones that involved point spreads. The only spreads I like go on food. Emeril’s horseradish mustard is an excellent case in point.

So in my rush, I went with Oklahoma City Thunder vs New York Knicks. And maybe I was still feeling a bit smug about The Heat beating the Knicks last week – right in their own front yard! So I figured, Oklahoma City looked pretty good. Mostly because the Knicks skidmark down the stats sheet lately looked rather discouraging. But then again, maybe they’d have rested well, kicked some old ladies and got their mojo back! I chose Oklahoma City. And then found out that Mate chose the Knicks. He thinks I chose against him on purpose but HA! He is wrong. What might not have been wrong was HIS pick. I’m still watching this one while chewing on fingernail stew. Sheesh…someone stole Oklahoma City’s Thunder!

That would have to be my last move of the night since there are no more straight up picks.
My mate sits down next to me and checks out the remaining questions and researches.
I let him know that for a One Time Only deal, he gets to choose a pick and I’ll copy him! Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery! Now in order to avoid curling up in the center of a Zero for tonight, I copied with all my might and chose Gonzaga’s Winning Margin to be higher than Xavier’s 3 Pointers Made. I might as well have just read a Chilton guide for Pinto’s because I have no idea what any of that means. Hopefully my intuition is hiding somewhere in the winning margin and Gonzaga will unearth it to start my day tomorrow with an actual number instead of a hope, wish and a prayer for one.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Drop That Zero and Get Me a Hero (with cheese and onions please)

Getting ready to pick since I know time is approaching. I don’t even need to look at the clock. The BrewBot commercial is played like clockwork, every few moments. In fact I think we should get rid of the clock altogether and base time frames on the presence or absence of BrewBot commercials.

I’m rolling out of bed, entangled in last night’s Zero. That’s 3 bad picks in a row. What will my new grandchild think? I’ve got to build a reputation to keep!

This is one of those days where soccer is as good as choosing nothing at all. Kavala is cleating up turf at Atromitos Athens for the 5th round in the Greek Cup. I am tempted to choose the Win or Draw option. I’ve never seen so many artists in sports with all the drawing they do in soccer.

My shameful losing streak is currently wearing the skimpiest of fig leaves and trying to dash behind a dandelion for coverup. Prematurely, I’ve check off Kavala because they come with a Draw Prenup. I like. However, yesterday I had my arse handed to me courtesy of Everton, who I thought would do anything but win. When I attempt to check Kavala’s website, I forget the possibility of it not being in a language that I can even attempt to pronounce. I observe the shapes that are Greek words, make a mild attempt to understand and then close the window.
Going to the Atromitos FC site and finding an English option, I see that they are #12 in a list that also places Kavala a few rungs up at #5. And unless I read that this is the list of biggest losers, I have to assume that Kavala might have a better current standing. Keeping the pick and ecstatic that I am not placing a 14 streak on this game. Blech. Soccer.

***Post Game***
I’m getting rather comfortable with these bland red bars on my ESPN page. The zero stares back at me pleadingly, like a homeless animal on my doorstep. It doesn’t have anywhere to go. I explain to it that ESPN has thousands of awesome homes to visit and that we need a little space from each other.

Sigh. It’s hard to break up with a Stalker.

For the next game I figured that to go along with the whole holiday season mentality, I would choose for bygones to be bygones with Texas. For tonight only. The Dallas Mavericks will be at Orlando Magic. There are some stats that lean in Dallas’s direction, but really, I saw a number of teams that Dallas washed the floor with that Orlando didn’t and that factored in. Plus, I ‘m just already feeling the staleness of this losing streak and am going into desperation mode.

***Post Game***
I decided to get off the computer for a bit and be a mom. So I hung out with my 11 yr old and hid from the scoreboard of this one. A watched pot doesn’t boil and Texas knows how undedicated I am. I left the room with the score tie. When I got back after watching a few moments of A Christmas Story while a Poofy White Cat kneaded the white off my skin, I found that Texas and I….we’d made a backroom deal. Texas is now the date that I get down and dirty with only to snub him in public when the game is over. He’s the Embarrassing Hook Up When You’re Desperate guy. But tonight I would totally hold hands in a public movie theatre.
That being done, I was gifted a brand spanking new (after 4 losses) “1”.

My last game for tonight is the Golden State Warriors in the home of the Sacramento Kings. Cough…cough. I don’t know how forgiving I’m feeling after last night’s egg with the Warriors. After looking at both sets of stats and realizing that all the red ‘L’s on each’s scoreboard could be joined from here to Jupiter, I decided to give Golden State a call back. Let’s try again. Maybe the lunar eclipse had spooked them last night.

Hey! My game starts in 6 minutes! Time to go start a hot bath and birth some Hope!

Monday, December 20, 2010

No One Wants to be Number Two

Well to avoid a cliffhanger from yesterday, I’ll mention first that the Colorado Avalanche done me good last night. I went to bed with a “2” for my streak.

Thankfully today there aren’t any games until 3pm. I’m at work and I’m buried in virtual papers. Since we’re speaking virtual, let’s say there is a Redwood forest that multiplied like rabbits. Then turned into sheets of paper. You’ll find me under there.

It’s getting close…only an hour to go and I have not researched a thing yet.

Damn job. What a joykill.

I see soccer. AH! My eyes!!!! No!!

But if I want to stretch my steak sooner than 7pm (note the positivity of the streak INCREASING in this sentence) then soccer game it might have to be. This is the sick cycle of addiction on a pretty regular basis. Either Addiction or else it is the desperate BC that awaits The Call. If I’m doing pretty well, I usually won’t touch soccer. If I’m desperate to streak higher, I’ll tuck my tail down and drunk dial a soccer game.

Today we have Manchester City at home, entertaining for tea and crushed bones, Everton.
Since I’m at work, my research is going to be a bit shoddy. When I’m home I can tie up my mate and child until I have made a clear choice. Here…well, subjected to the rules of Podville. In a flash, I’ve noticed my hand comfortably taking the mouse and clicking HOME – MANCHESTER CITY. AH! Why?! It was so automatic! It was a smooth criminal, right under my very eyes.

Everton appears to draw nicely when having play dates in other fields. They also have lost pretty nicely here and there. That’s my first thought. Manchester City draws or wins pretty regularly. A draw today isn’t going to help me do anything except suck a zero again after yesterday’s Texan Cowpie Party at Tennessee.

One other thing I noticed….in scanning the news for Everton I saw the word ‘negativity’ and a phrase that read “the team have to focus on their own troubles”. Um…..coupled with Carlos “10 Goals so Far” Teves’ change of heart to stop trying to scratch and claw his way out of Manchester City’s box, I think I’ll choose Manchester City.

***Post Game – Peeeee You. Is that the scent of my last pick? Before I put on this shade of Loser Lipstick and pucker up for the Zero Suck, I’ve found about 20 minutes until the next game starts so time to research. I’ve got my eyes on the Illinois State Redbirds vs hometeam NC-Wilmington Seahawks. About 10% have sided with NC and after checking out stats, I don’t see that they’d lie down like speed-bumps and take an easy loss. They’ve won every home game and the Redbirds scorechart for the only Away play has been brought to you by the letter L.

Let’s hope they find my “1” walking close by and that it doesn’t get too far down the road!

***Post Game – Just when I thought I was at the Earth’s Core of all Stank. Try again. My mate had chosen the same game, for all kinds of Guy Reasons. Apparently with all our fabulous reasoning, we forgot about the Lose by 2 Points factor. Applying lip liner to go with the lipstick now. Sucking a lemon before doing a Zero Shot. My precious Starter 1 needs Cialis in order to stand tall.

Can I get rid of these two Red bars of Shame on my pick page?

Houston Rockets vs the Golden State Warriors. We already know how I feel about Houston. I’m so beyond caring today now with a double ZE-ROW that I might chose against Houston without even doing the research. Because clearly, research makes my butt look big.

Well guess what. Warriors…..come out and Playyyyyyyyyyyyy! And play well! I’m so done with Texas. For today anyway. Just like soccer. It seems the GS Warriors have lost one, won one to the Rockets. The winning game was home and tonight they’ll be on their own turf again for a 3rd match up.

Til tomorrow! I’m dreaming….of a buff #1.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

G-Mizzle Exposes Picks for Sunday

With a streak of 14 for Progressive/ESPN’s Streak for the Cash, as I unfold my mind for the morning, I am leary about choosing anything. Yesterday felt like a great day to choose games. Ahem. Choose WINNING games.

Late last night I found out that my 23 year old daughter and her Knight are expecting a baby! I get to be a Grayless Grammy at 41 years old! Yeah!!! So mixed with happy and nostalgic emotion, everything suddenly seemed less important. Until we woke up without oil. And we’re in the Northeast. Yeah again!!!


The games that I chose yesterday all felt right for me. Yeah, I pick, then I check stats to make double sure. A 14 is the highest that I’ve gotten so far, and my own mate, who introduced me to the game, has gotten as high as an 8. So we can’t stop here! Espn is kind enough to let us dive off the board into their pool of 100K…simply for choosing the winning team!!!

My Om is feeling half open and half fizzled with swirling thoughts of things outside of Streakdom.
So do I choose today? Do I put my vulnerable 14 out there? Well, let’s see what we have.

Juventus vs Chievo Verona. Equals Soccer. Hell to the no. I rarely choose soccer anymore because I rot up the room with it. However, last Wednesday (15) days ago I was compelled to choose Juventus over Manchester City. A pick that the Honey and I were on opposing sides with. I inexplicably put my 7 on the line for it. After nearly stating in the court of law that I will NEVER choose soccer again.

Until I look at the board and choose it….Again – victoriously!

Today however, I will not be dipping my toes in this net.

Being Sunday, there is quite the palete of NFL games going on. My heart goes with the Ravens, but they are playing the New Orleans Saints. I’m not sure that I want to go there. NEXT!
One thing that I usually do not do is base any of my answers on what the majority chose. Although I did just happen to click on the Houston @ Tennessee game simply because TN has only a 3.9% gang o’ gamblers who think they have a shot at the 1pm home game.

After about a minute check down of the stats…..Houston losing the last 4 Away games but also seeing the Titans on a recent losing streak as well. So – who’s losing streak will perpetuate today? That’s where I may side with the majority on this one. My favorite wins are underdog wins – that I’VE chosen of course. I’ll admit that in the past I’ve chosen teams based on who’s mascot I like better….perhaps the SoAndSo Evil Vampires over the Who’s It Puffy Poodles. Yes, it’s a typical Girl’s Decision Process but I think I’ve grown out of it.

So I’ve committed and chosen the Texans. Not easy for me since in the past I made it a rule not to choose anything that reeked of Texas. No Cowboys (ew - and sorry to my Honey who’s cells encapsulate all that is Dallas) and in the past, no Texans. I’m going to have to bend the rules and get out of the 14 year old mindset of Journey vs. Def Leppard*.

*Quick explanation: When I was 14, MTV had Friday Night Video Fights where one video would go up against another video and young suckers like me would call in to vote for your band. Def Leppard won for weeks and weeks. I dutifully contributed with my kiddie votes. Then one dark night (and aren’t they all dark?) I didn’t make the call. Journey won. I vowed my vengeance by doing the most dastardly thing I could think of…..I would NEVER listen to Journey again. Ever. I want my $2.00 back.

Fast forward to my late 30’s….I eventually listened to Journey. But boy did I show THEM…I waited nearly 20 years later before I’d leave the station on that dared to express their roster with “Don’t Stop Believin’.

So I’ll go with the Texans today with that resolve to Be the Change you want to see in the World. Yes, I can bend, I will breathe…I will BE….Texan!

But now that I’ve chosen that game with my neat little checkmark, I have to doublecheck and check out the video that goes with it.

And perhaps peek at the other 1pm games.

And upon further examination, there is the Eagles vs the Giants game. Oh how I’d love to pick the Eagles as they’ve already won against them this season. I still might….but then that goes against my inner rule of Once You Pick it, You Keep It. I rarely go back on my picks and choose either another game or the other team.

Checking in on the Arizona Cardinals vs the Carolina Panthers just made me sad. I hadn’t realized that the Panthers only won one game this entire season. Still, that doesn’t make me feel safe in choosing Arizona, who have won only three. Who knows…maybe Carolina will suddenly become Ralphie from a Christmas Story and end up on top, beating the living pigskin out of the Arizona Scut Farkas’s.

The rest of the 1pm picks are white noise to me. By no means am I a sports aficionado, but I do enjoy playing the Streak. I have to chose straight up Who Will Win this Match sort of games. Once they get into choosing who wins by double digits, who wins with a larger margin of victory, what player yields more passing yards and how, or who’s mom makes the best shepard’s pie, I’m out. I won’t play these games as it requires a transformation on my part into one of those folks who actually either watches the game intently or is a brain overflowing with sports stats. Survey SAYS : X! I’ll take it like my martini, straight up, thanks.

*****Post Game comment****
Did I or did I not say never go with Texas? Ah well…see what happens? I get on the phone at 1pm, check the stats within 15 minutes and see that Tennessee has made a nice Touchdown Cake for themselves with my 14 that they were now up by. Within 15 minutes???

Yipes. So now I can Yipes all I want as I stare out the window at the Streak of Tires where my “14” squealed out of here.

Ok, no problem. I feel rather lucky to have gotten as far as I did. But of course…I want to win!

Time to restart! I went to the store to breathe off my loss and when I came back had only 5 minutes to choose the next game to go for a shiny, overly used but necessary building block that is “1”.

With under 4 minutes to choose, I did exactly what I said earlier that I rarely do. I listened to the voices on the outside of my eyes and body. Not a typo…I meant My Eyes. Looking at the board on ESPN to see that over 80% of folks chose Notre Dame Fighting Irish (basketball) to win by 20+ points against Stony Brook. I took it. The zero is round and balanced all by itself but I’m currently looking for a tall, erect “1”.

Thankfully, all is well, my Folks Crutch has gotten me there.

Next game…

Dang. The only straight up there is for me is hockey. Canadiens vs Colorado Avalanche.
I’ve chosen the Canadiens before…during my last streak actually. They’ve done well by me. Tonight they’re visiting like relatives do at holiday time. And hopefully will wreck da house as good relatives do!

First thoughts: check and see if there are any matchups between these two for this season. None. Next, I check to see what same teams they’ve played with outcomes. Although I was initially leaning toward the Canadiens, I’ve decided to hand my 1 over to the Avalanche hoping they will perform magic tricks and pull a Streak 2 out of their hat for me. My reasoning? They’re home and like the Canadiens, they are #1 in their division.

Meet me here next time to see if I was a mere babe in the woods, trusting my puck to the wrong hands!