Friday, December 31, 2010

We Got the Spazz

Streak Start: Draw a crop circle and take out anything interested. I’m left with the circle.

Day starts off too late to choose the dreaded soccer game. This was the universe purposefully keeping us in bed long enough to miss it by the proverbial hair.

My losing streak is gaining on me…a hungry 3 that threatens to unhinge the refrigerator of scoreboards and devour all that is relevant to a winning streak. Unfortunately, the Mate has his biggest losing streak ever…somewhere near a 7 or an 8. That can’t be good for the Likes To Win, Will Kill if He’s Losing, Soul.

How on earth am I going to be able to afford all those informative and frightening pregnancy books for my beautiful kids? The toughest is finding a great Father to Be book that doesn’t either unnecessarily inflate a man’s sac or make him out to be an aimless oaf.

Noticing that the 2pm game is creeping up like a pair of granny panties, I choose in a fairly flitful way. Company has just walked in to share with me a Russian version of Skating with the Stars, and let me tell you ~ it is full of passion! So I take the fancy complicated pick that I usually pass over with a look of disdain.

The game that luck would put before me is the Eagle Bank Military Bowl. East Carolina vs Maryland in college feetballs. 75.1% chooses that Maryland will have the winning margain vs EC’s points from field goals. Fine by me. Bring on the frozen Russians while I wait.

Yeah! A win! Kiss kiss kiss kiss! Mama can buy the GOOD bread this week, kids!!!

The next choice is made with a quick peek at scores all season. The Baylor Bears are home and the name rings a winning sound in my ears. Hopefully it isn’t some sorta reverb off Illinois Fighting Illini. A preview that I read states something about weakness in Illinois’ offense so with only 6 minutes, Dougie Fresh you’re on…uh uh on, I trigger finger it to the Bears.

If it’s not bad enough that the Mister is having a rotten time processing his day, I notice that Baylor is very attached, affectionate almost, with their own Zero. Meanwhile, Illinois laughs wholeheartedly, running off with 14 points as they look back on the coddled lack of points to the opposite side.

Eventually while the Mister continues his constant hammering and all dust remains in the air, I see that it’s me and Zero tonight. Actually though, if you look at that bright, spring green Zero on the home page, it’s actually kind of pretty. Festive. Comforting.

Eventually you just start finding weird and different ways to choose. So with Utah Jazz gifting the Los Angeles Clippers with their presence, I decided to go Jazz. Because I like jazz music. I like the hip hop group Tribe Called Qwest’s song “We got the Jazz”. I’m jazzed. My day is falling apart like an overboiled strip of tripe. I need to be jazzed up. Help me find a reason not to eat a whole cake and put my toothbrush on strike!

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